FIRST DUTY STATION AND THE ACCEPTING OF ME

When I arrived to McGuire AFB Feb 14th 2012.  It was a whole new world for me.  The emotions ran high as I pulled through the gate.  So many things going through my head.  Whats it like here?  Will the people be nice?  Will I be accepted?  Is it bad like tech school and basic?  My answers would all come full circle and be answered within the next month that I was there.

The truth is, is that it wasn't so bad but like anything else, it gets better with time.  I was working for a good team in Family Health.  1 provider and the 4 of us airman.  I'll admit it was still kinda stressful getting to know the ropes but I got used to it after awhile.  I didn't come out to them until about 2 weeks later and they were fine with it.  It was a refreshing feeling.  Being accepted.  Not being a "minority" per say but being one with others.  As I said before in earlier posts.  I was bullied in middle and high school.  Was harassed by my TI in basic and was told cruel things in tech school.  This was the first time in my life.  I was "normal" for being different.  Where people looked at me for the amount of work that I put in.  Rather than I was a gay guy who likes guys.  Then again, there were so many gay guys and lesbians in the clinic.  I think I was just another added to the pot.

For anybody that is gay or lesbian that is scared to go to their first base because of being shunned for being different.  I challenge you to be yourself.  To let people know who you are.  I think when we hide behind a mask is when we are most vulnerable and tend to perform less than what we are truly capable of.  Its better to be yourself and comfortable with your surroundings.  Once its out in the open you can expand your horizons and own it.  At first I didn't think of myself as a stellar airman but with all honesty.  When you have great supervisors who sit down with you and actually truly care about you. They can guide you and make you into a better person.  I had 3 supervisors and each of them taught me something about myself and what I needed to improve on.  If theres anything I hope active duty members whether your enlisted or officer take from this post; is that when you show that you care, it makes a huge difference.  It shows that I'm not just another slot on the Unit Manning Document.  It shows a person and that I am an asset to the base.

After everyone in the clinic found out I was gay.  People accepted it and asked me a lot of questions.  Where should I take my girlfriend on date to?  Does this outfit look ok?  What do you think of my hair color?  It was funny because they were kinda stereotypical but I took them and ran with it.  I became very blunt while at McGuire.  But I think thats what people like about me.  Is that I'm blunt and not really afraid to hide how i truly feel.  Its something I've learned from my mom and grandma.  They are the most blunt people you will ever meet and hold nothing back.

But also my sense of humor and my obnoxious laugh.   Literally, I would be on the other side of the clinic and people down the hall would hear me.  Im so loud when I laugh and it changes with what I'm laughing at.  I have an evil laugh, a bullshit laugh, i can't stop laughing one.  It varies but its contagious.   But its not my fault.  Most don't realize but I'm mostly deaf in my left ear.  Its a chronic hearing loss that Ive dealt with since high school.  I almost didn't make it into the air force because of it.  So I tend to be louder than what I need to be, but not on purpose

Over time I developed a good sense of working and managing my time.  I became Airman of the Quarter and later Airman of the Year for 2013.  The providers, and people I worked with helped me get to that level.  They say airman like its only you.. but in reality it should be team of the month and team of the year because no one can make it on their own.  You need guidance and great people to surround you to make it.  A support system.... well  more like... a family.  Thats what we all were.

To close this short post.  I again challenge every gay or lesbian to go to your first base and be who you really are.  Show your true colors... yes I totally just pulled my gay card and reference Cindi Lauper.. but dont hold back.  The moment you pretend to be something you're not is the moment they win because you hide behind a mask.  The moment we are free is when we have the greatest potential to make a statement, a mark and a legacy on the units we work in.